When I was a student at Michigan State University working on my degree in journalism, I remember taking an introductory reporting class. You can probably imagine what we learned in that class — note taking, source development and interviewing skills, to name just a few.

We practiced interviewing each other in class and since we had an odd number, I was stuck with the professor. The professor was a retired journalist who had a long and distinguished career. She moved into academia in “retirement.”

As I stumbled through my interview questions to her, I kept rambling on. She gently stopped me and told me to shut up long enough for her to answer. We then switched roles and she interviewed me. I remember her asking about why I picked MSU. When I finished answering, I stopped and she remained silent. I filled that awkward silence with a lot more information about why I became a Spartan.

She stopped again. “Do you see what just happened there?” she asked. “When I stopped talking, you filled in the gaps because everyone hates that awkward silence. Use it to your advantage.”

I learned an important lesson that day: It is far better to shut your mouth and listen than it is to fill in that awkward silence with your own jabbering. To this day, I still use the trick of remaining silent when I do interviews. And it is something you can use as well.

I get it. It is a struggle to sit in silence with others. We want to fill the void during a pause in conversation. It is natural to want to prove our intelligence or get people to like us. Maybe we want to rush in and solve a problem. Or perhaps we just want to stop that deafening, awkward sound of nothing.

When you are meeting with a customer, chatting with an employee or connecting with a co-worker, make a conscious effort to stop talking and listen. Listening takes more effort than simply shutting up. Active listening is a communication skill that I find very helpful.

Active listening is when you not only hear what someone is saying, but also attune to their thoughts and feelings. It turns a conversation into an active, non-competitive, two-way interaction, according to an article in the Harvard Business Review. When we spend conversations plotting what to say next, we’re focused on ourselves. Active listening puts our attention on the person we are speaking with. Active listening often includes repeating something the speaker said back to them to confirm that you understand what they are saying.

Here are some tips to be an active listener:

Give your full attention by focusing on what the speaker is saying instead of planning your response; Show you’re listening by using body language and nodding, smiling, and opening your posture; Ask open-ended questions to dig deeper into the topic; Paraphrase and reflect back what you heard to confirm you understand; Defer judgment and allow the speaker to finish before interrupting with counter arguments; Be open and honest in your response.

So next time you find yourself in an important conversation, make an effort to really listen. Start by keeping your mouth shut.